Where
our intrepid, China-based, freewheeling Coathanger representative -
Connie Q Person - single handedly attempts to take the music of
Ross Ryan to cultures beyond Glen Iris.
Join our heroine as she brings you up to speed with what
we call, with little hint of irony, the Wonderful World of Ryan.
Dateline: March 2004 - Uptown Beijing, China
Well
comrades, I'm starting to get the hang of this place.
Since last we spoke (see: Feb Newsletter) I've moved to Beijing, set up the local Coathanger office, arranged the Sino-Ryan release of Ross's 'One Person Queue' album, hired lots of inexpensive Chinese staff and have even had time to socialise with several members of something called the Central Committee. Not sure what they all do, but they speak excellent English and let me tell you, do these guys have serious contacts - not to mention access to a whole new level of shopping and night life!
As luck would have it, one of the C.C. members, Uncle Hu, has kindly organised a high speed direct telecommunications link from my suite to our head office in Glen Iris. As a result, I'm thrilled to report that I'm back at the helm and hands on!
Coathanger Battles Spam Backlash
Have you tried, say during the last 6 months, to contact us here at Coathanger? Was your e-mail bounced or maybe you just didn't get a reply?
It has recently come to our attention that our Coathanger e-mail address and even the word 'connie' is being indiscriminately and occasionally blocked by various well meaning, sledgehammer inspired Spam-blocking services. The only explanation we can come up with is that because we've been successfully online for over 8 years, it's been automatically assumed we're flogging Viagra and Filipino housemaids.
Anyway, if indeed you have had trouble getting in touch with us - especially if you're eager to spend money - may we suggest you try this hopefully 'safe' e-mail address.
Meanwhile, with the help of our new Chinese friends and with the expertise of the good people at pretentia.com, Coathanger is in the process of revolutionising our current Internet presence. We'll let you know what unfolds.
During February, Tour 2004 kicked off with gigs at the Albert Park Yacht Club and at Cafe Phill's in Barwon Heads. (See: News for pix and details)
Beginning in April, our touring division moves into overdrive with Ross performing in South Australia as well as select Victorian venues including the second Mark Holden / Ross Ryan "Idol & Idle" show at Cipriani's Flinders Country Inn. All going well, we hope to soon announce dates in Queensland, Canberra, Tasmania as well as a projected sweep through NSW with music legend Doug Ashdown.
A significant number of Ross's gigs have come about through suggestions from folks on our mailing list. If you think that your neck of the woods can't live without an RR performance, please feel obligated to drop us a line at: gigs@rossryan.com
In the meantime, wander over to our Gig Guide for all the latest details.
Last
month I mentioned that New Zealander and Coathanger pal Doug Coutts
has written and produced a groundbreaking radio play entitled 'Ross
Ryan, Connie & Me', based on Doug's ultimately successful dealings
with Coathanger's world famous merchandising division.
As a service to the handful of interested New Zealanders and ex pat Oz Persons who will be within transmission range of this program, we promised to announce the historic broadcast date as soon as Doug told us what it was. So far, all we've learnt is that it will possibly be featured over the Easter break as a welcome respite from the current deluge of Hobbit based backslapping.
Our plan is that after Doug reads this and hopefully sends us the final details, we'll then be able to change the above paragraph accordingly. In the meantime check your radio guides. For the rest of you Non Zealanders, may we suggest that you select your poison and kick back and enjoy 'The Doug Coutts Story' - the e-mail exchange that inspired much silliness.
Coathanger Merchandising: We now accept credit cards!
In
a calculated attempt to ensnare overseas customers and folks who don't
have cheque accounts, Coathanger is proud to announce that we finally
confronted all the necessary paperwork and are now able to accept credit
card payment for goods purchased online through our Doug Coutts endorsed
merchandising division.
There are plans afoot to streamline the purchasing process even further to tempt customers who require instant gratification, but in the meantime, grab the dreaded plastic and head to:
Already unhappy with the site's inability to meet deadlines, it is reported that CEO Al DeKlien was also personally concerned that some of our online content was not "globally friendly" and was in fact considered mean spirited and offensive to Chinese sensibilities. Ironically, as apparently this also seems to be the reaction in most other cultures, this 'tone' initially went unnoticed.
DeKlien offered his apologies to all concerned and attacked the current "maniac fringe" in web design. "The sooner these people disappear", he added in Italian, "the less we'll see of them."
STOP PRESS:
Word has just come through that the Glen Iris web team has been hired, en
mass, by Mark Holden. Mark is keen for his site to be updated
and prepared for the expected onslaught of abuse he assumes he'll be subjected
to as Australian Idol 2 hits the airwaves. Frankly, all things
considered, we think the G.I. team will be just perfect for the job.
See: www.markholden.net.au
As my personal journey continues and the yearning Chinese Spring approaches - bringing with it the reproachment of the more silent and bitter seasons - I foresee much great and noble work ahead. I have recently enrolled in a 'Confucious Communications' course at Beijing University and though I find the lectures mostly tedious, I did accidentally learn something I'd like to pass on to you all.
"Measure not what is not."
Pretty cool huh? Of course I'm not sure what it means or how that helps sell albums, but I liked the vibe.
Look
after yourselves.
Cheers
Constance
Person
Greater Asian Divisional Manager
Coathanger China
© Copyright 2004 Coathanger Productions
